I don’t want my hands to be tied behind my back
or my feet to be chained by the shackles of my past
or my eyes to be too adjusted in the dark.
I think I’ve submerged myself far too long,
and maybe it’s time to resurface from the things that went wrong.
I’ve turned my head away from numerous tomorrows
only to continue holding onto countless maybes.
I have forgotten what it means to be alive.
I’ve mistaken people’s sweet exhales for oxygen
and myself as canvas to paint horrid words.
I’ve poured out my soul and served it to people
who left it untouched on the table.
I want to stop tying my mistakes around my wrist,
filling my lungs with yesterdays,
and counting my every step with eyes glued to the floor.
I don’t want to live in the shadow of who I was
or in the light of who people want me to be.
I’ve inhaled their words far too often
and used them to draw my smiles and build my thoughts.
There is more to me
than the manacles of expectations
and the footprints of the past.
I want to stop living my life
holding my breath for anyone.
I want to stop taking darkness
and wrapping it around me.
I want to inhale the sun in my lungs,
look into the horizon of my tomorrow,
and feel refreshed.
this is for tomorrows (NJ.)
Some friends don’t understand this. They don’t understand how desperate I am to have someone say, I love you and I support you just the way you are because you’re wonderful just the way you are. They don’t understand that I can’t remember anyone ever saying that to me.
― Elizabeth Wurtzel (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
Other people are not medicine.
― (via indiga-c)